The truth: I always hated kids.
I never got that ‘clucky’ feeling that all women my age get. Someone would bring a new baby into the office where I worked and all the ladies of the office would flock to reception to fluff over the adorable little miracle. Me – I thought that newborn babies looked like tiny, balding, shriveled up old men. If someone bought in a new puppy, that would be me running to reception for a cuddle!
My friends, on the other hand, were definitely all on the clucky-train. 2 of my closest friends already had kids by the time they were 21 and those that didn’t have kids were either trying for a baby or searching for a baby-daddy to steal his sperm at the nearest chance. My best friend was among those trying. She had been with her partner on and off for about 8 years and even though she had been waiting for a ring on her finger for about 6 of those 8 years, she settled for the next best thing that she desperately wanted – a baby.
Honestly, I was a little shocked that her partner agreed to start trying because he had proved many times before that he was the non-commitment type. But his friends were all married with kids and I guess he felt like he was missing out. Either way, my best friend was stoked and as much I didn’t like kids, I was happy for her.
So there I was among baby madness. I had been in my relationship for nearly 6 years and although I knew one day I would become a mum, I knew I wasn’t quite ready. My partner had other ideas… Out of the blue with no warning he announced that he wanted a baby.
I thought he was joking to begin with so I went along with it and pretended I wanted the same, trying to scare him into changing his mind. It didn’t work. So after he kept pressing the issue I agreed that we would start trying… in about a year or so. I wasn’t ready (or so I thought).
Just before my partners 30th birthday I was having issues with my contraception and much to his disappointment I told him we would need to start using condoms until I had been to the doctors to get that sorted. Then his birthday arrived and we had planned a party in his honour.
The party took place at his parents farm and my monster-in-law decided to hijack the party and invited all her own friends along too. Later on that night I discovered that all her friends had no idea it was her sons 30th birthday and in fact they were there to celebrate her wedding anniversary. Luckily my partner is used to his mother putting herself first so he wasn’t all that bothered.
I still remember early on in the night I was clutching my stomach and his mother saying ‘are we having a baby?’ with the most excited look on her face. I knew I was definitely not pregnant because I had just finished my period and the pains were due to a benign cyst on my ovaries which I had seen the doctor about the week before. But nevertheless she still thinks she ‘knew’ before it even happened!
The magic actually did occur that night, just much later on and after way too many tequila sunrises! And although I will probably never tell her (because, uh, cringe!) it did in fact occur in her camper trailer on her back lawn!
So there I was, knocked up because… tequila!